Take A Look at Yourself

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Ci2

Anonymous
Sent by Tamara L. Burton (Decatur, GA)

One day all the employees reached the office, and they saw a big sign on the door on which it was written:

“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away.  We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym.”

In the beginning, they all were sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while, they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.  The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd.  The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.

Everyone thought:  “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?  Well, at least he died!”

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they look inside it, they suddenly became speechless.  They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their souls.  There was a mirror inside the coffin – everyone who looked in could see himself.  There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:  “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth:  it is YOU.  You are the only person who can revolutionize your life.  You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success.  YOU are the only person who can help yourself.

Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, or even when your company changes.  Your life changes when YOU change – when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.  The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself.

Examine yourself; watch yourself.  Don’t be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses – be a winner; build yourself and your reality.

The world is like a mirror.  It gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed.  The world and your reality are like mirrors lying in a coffin, which show to any individual the death of his divine capability to imagine and create his happiness and his success.  It’s the way you face life that makes the difference.

Posted in Integrity | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

The Essence of Leadership

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Ci2

Carolyn “CiCi” Higgins
April 2010

Leadership is a word that is thrown around so lightly today that one may easily lose sight of what makes a great leader.  Common words and phrases that describe leaders are people with vision, intellect, integrity, and the ability to win.  But, there has to be more – something meaty and earthy that really sticks.

While I respect many common characteristics of leadership, I value a more holistic approach.  I feel a leader should be compassionate, compelling and committed.  Compassion brings to mind passion and love for one’s community, whether that is a local community of family and friends, a neighborhood, a school or a corporation.  Love is too often missing in action in today’s leaders.  Compassion causes a leader to step into the shoes of others to see and “feel” things from their perspectives.  This empathy can lead to better relationships, keener listening, and more effective solutions.

When a leader becomes compassionate, then she is real and transparent.  This realness makes the leader compelling, because people sense the sincerity.    The leader becomes a magnet, drawing the people and resources needed to accomplish the purpose.    I believe the leader can then motivate the team to accomplish any task because they feel capable and empowered.  A compelling leader exudes confidence that becomes contagious.

Once the leader has everyone on board and the journey begins, she must be committed.  As she stays the course, she will reap the rewards of a loyal team and a personal sense of accomplishment.  A committed leader does not give up when things get rough.  She stays the course even when things look bleak.  At times, there may be a competitor who seems to spring ahead.  However, her team is looking for her steady hand to guide them along the charted path.  She may have to tweak it along the way, but they are looking for that fortitude.  Many times this is the leader who wins the race like the tortoise against the hare.

At some defining moment in life, each one of us is a leader.  Sometimes we choose this role, but often life may choose it for us.  Leadership is circular . . . Learn to lead and lead to learn.

Posted in Leadership | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Losing Our Cents and Senses

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Ci2

Carolyn “CiCi” Higgins
Revised April 2009

The jar sat in the living room perched on a shelf over the heater.  That seemed to be a safe place.  After all, it was well out of the reach of the small children.  It contained something very valuable – real money – back when a dollar was pretty much worth a dollar.

The green paper was sparse in that jar, but the brown and silver coins were the crown jewels.  They made the contents appear quite valuable, and the clanking, jingling noises sealed the deal.

That money was earned from sweat equity – performing household chores, going on an occasional treasure hunt for lost coins, but mostly from breaking out the latest dance for the insurance man.

The Independent Life Insurance man loved to ask me to dance, and I was delighted to show my latest funny choreography.  Long legs moved rather awkwardly to whatever beat was in my head at that time.  Occasionally, my mother would put a 45 on the record player.  (For the younger generation, that was a small vinyl circle with a quarter-sized whole in the middle.  It was similar to your CD’s with one or two songs).

All that mattered was the reward that was to come.  The insurance man was only being a salesman at first, but eventually the visit to our home became the highlight of his week.

Things have a way of changing in life.  It wasn’t the visits from the insurance man or the collection of the coins.  It was a lifestyle change.  My mother and I began to yearn for RC Colas and Rock’N’Roll wafer cookies.  The cookies were roughly the size of a 5 x 7 index card.  Two of those light-brown cookies with scalloped edges and pink icing were housed in a package.  Every bit of that icing was visible through that clear wrapping.  What may have initiated as a trip to the corner store for another item, soon became an excuse to purchase the cola and cookies.

Slowly, the contents of the jar began to decrease.  The novelty of the jar began to wear off as it gave way to our appetite.

A trip to a major department store a few days ago brought about mixed emotions.  There at the front entrance was a bin full of Rock’N Roll wafer cookies.  Right beside it was a display of six-pack RC Colas.  I couldn’t believe it.  I walked past it and then went back to look again.  Other shoppers watching me or the store’s video camera operator might have found my actions rather suspicious.  However, I had to bask in this nostalgic moment.

It was both funny and sad at the same time.  It brought back to my mind visions of the slow dwindling of the contents of that jar.  Even when it was getting to the bottom, I didn’t stop, instead allowing the desire for that temporary treat to win.  But, I was just a child.

As an adult, I realized that in today’s words, I had outspent my income.  I thought about how we lose our senses over things that we don’t really need.  Then, we often look to others to blame.  I thought about how this pattern most likely delayed my developing savvy financial skills.

Lastly, I thought about our economy and how we continually deplete our resources, mostly for greed.  We see what is really happening, but we keep longing to touch and taste the good life.  While our eyes see the changes that are coming and our ears hear the warnings, we can smell the danger – it’s in the air.

I was proud to walk past that luscious pink icing and to ignore my visions of the cool, bubbling cola.  What meant most to me was saving a few cents for a rainy day and keeping my senses safe from the store’s subliminal enticement.

Posted in Personal Control | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Dealing With Man-made Clouds

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Ci2

Carolyn “CiCi” Higgins
March 2008

An unemployed man in another city anxiously awaited my telephone call.  He just knew that our conversation would hold the answers he needed to confirm his suspicions that most of the world was against him.  In other words, to validate the darkness and gloom that he had let slip into his world.

According to him, at each previous place of employment, everyone had “messed over him,” stolen his ideas or blocked his pathway to success.  He even seemed to get pleasure out of mimicking the voices of those who had supposedly tormented him.  There was a weightiness about his voice from the bitterness and cynicism he carried that belied his age.  When he revealed that he was only 26 years old, I was quite surprised.

I asked him to describe the situation on his last few jobs.  He took the opportunity to use a few choice words to call several people very derogatory names, spewing expletives.  It took me a moment to regain my composure.

Then I said: “Do you know that I have a son your age, and I’m old enough to be your mother? And besides, one of those people you called old, I’m older than him.”

He tried to recover by saying he didn’t mean the man was old.  However, he seemed oblivious to my sensitivity to his choice words and he continued cursing.  So, I tried a more direct approach, “Could you please refrain from using that language, it is very unpleasant for me to listen to.”

Still unsure, he asked, “You mean the curse words?”

I responded, “Yes the curse words.”

To his credit, he made the necessary adjustment, with one mild slip-up that he caught.  This became a turning point for him, and I began to wonder if anyone had ever addressed his bad language.  After all, he was from a wealthy family and this might have been one of his entitlements.

After a bit of small talk, I began to realize that there was a bright, talented young man beneath all the bitterness.  He just needed some guidance so that he could escape the “blame-game.”  I even felt that he listened as I suggested that he focus less on other people’s negatives and raise the bar for himself and his accomplishments.

Once we began to focus on what he liked about his past jobs, the contributions he had made, and the good things others had said about him, he began to shine.  I could begin to feel his warmth.  He even admitted that he did, indeed, harbor too much resentment toward others.

At that moment, I was convinced there was sunshine beyond his man-made clouds.  Now, we had something to work with.  To further dissipate the clouds, I asked him if he would work on some assignments.   He agreed, so I asked him to concentrate on his strengths, skills and talents and to write them down along with how he could use them.

The young man seemed to welcome this motivational exercise.  He wanted to dig deep and not just give generic answers, so he wanted a few days to respond.  After our conversation ended, I really felt that he had begun to rediscover himself.

Clouds that burden you and obscure your reality of your wonderful nature are man-made.  Peel back the layers by focusing on one positive thought at a time, and soon you will have brighter days.

Posted in Personal Control | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Somebody Out There Needs You

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Ci2

Carolyn “CiCi” Higgins
September 2007

When you feel like “throwing in the towel” remember that you are not in this world alone.  Unless you have gone through life like a hermit or as a resident of your own personal, self-contained island, someone will be affected by something you do or say each and every day.

You may have been singed or scorched by the fire, but you have also tasted the sweetness of success.  Even a small victory can be a guiding light for someone else in distress.  Your history can be the last strand in that frazzled rope that a friend, loved one or even a stranger needs to cling to.

Unfortunately, our naked eyes cannot pierce through to the hearts of hurting people.  They are all around us in every age, color, shape, size, and economic background.  Some are draped in the latest fashionable clothes and drive the sportiest cars, while others pretend to be content in more humble lifestyles.  Yet, all share a common pain of feeling lost and depressed.  So, when you make it through your struggle, take that re-braided rope of hope and extend it to another human being.  Then, heighten your spiritual radar so you can more keenly discern others who need help – before it is too late.

The phrase “hold on help is on the way” is often associated with people struggling in raging waters waiting to be rescued.  A husband and wife were rescued from swelling flood waters.  The wife clung with all she had until she dropped off the helicopter skid and then tried again and again.  It was if she wanted to honor the valiant efforts of her rescuers.  On a recent Hurricane Katrina anniversary episode, victims were seen waving on rooftops as they awaited helicopters.  These victims had also hung on with all they had until they were pushed further and further to the tops of their buildings.

We sometimes think of struggling as going down and being finished, lying flat on the mat.  But what about the families that were actually forced further up into their dwellings to safety from Katrina’s flood waters?  Think about it. When you are down, maybe pushing up and up is the answer.  Even so-called “failures” have been compared to upward mobility.  One writer said:  “failure is not a tombstone; it is a stepping stone to your future.”

A novelist once gave up after receiving countless rejection letters from editors.  Things were not much better with his $60-per-week laundry job, because he could barely support his wife and baby.  Eventually, he and his wife chose to turn off the phone to have money for baby diapers.  In despair, rather than face rejection again, he threw his last manuscript into the trash can.  When his wife saw the tossed, crumbled papers, she secretly retrieved the manuscript and sent it to Doubleday Publishing.  That manuscript produced the book and the movie, Carrie.  Many chart-topping books and screenplays later, you know this guy as the famous Stephen King.

Another family’s trials had a different ending.  The widow of one of the heroic passengers on the 9/11 flight that crashed in Pennsylvania recalled some chilling moments.  Her husband had called her when it was apparent that they weren’t going down without a fight. Even in his time of duress, he knew that she needed to hear from him, and she continues to find solace in his last words.

The passengers on that plane did not have a choice about whether they lived or died – only how they died.  They chose to die in a way that honored others and saved our nation’s capital.

On the other hand, you do have a choice.  You can choose to live and have an opportunity to keep fighting through your struggles, even when they hold you captive – because somebody out there needs you.

Posted in Perseverance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment